How to Build a Problem Moment in Your Composition (P5–P6)
Welcome back
Last lesson, you noticed how the writer of The Unclaimed Wallet built pressure when Jared found the wallet.
Today you will learn how to build a problem moment yourself. Then, when you write your own story later in this unit, your reader will feel the pressure too.
✍️ Your turn
Warm-up. In the mentor text, when did the problem begin for the narrator?
Build a problem moment
The rule
A problem moment shows two things at once.
- What is happening. This is a specific action.
- What could go wrong. This is a hint of what is at risk.
If only one is there, it is not a problem yet. It is only the set-up.
The three parts of a problem moment
Every strong problem moment has these three parts.
| Part | What it is | Examples |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Action | Something happens. Use a specific verb, not "took", "did" or "had". | bent, slipped, grabbed, slid, tucked |
| 2. Detail | One thing you can hear, see, smell or touch. It makes the action feel real. | a sound, a sight, a smell, a touch |
| 3. Stake | A hint that something could go wrong. It is often a person or thing nearby. | a friend watching, a teacher passing, a camera blinking, a name written on something |
Compare: the weak version
Weak: "My brother took the last piece of cake. I was annoyed."
What is missing
| Part | What is wrong |
|---|---|
| Action | "Took" does not show how he did it. Did he sneak it? Grab it? Pretend he had not seen? |
| Detail | There is nothing to see or hear. |
| Stake | "I was annoyed" is a feeling. It does not show any risk. |
This is only set-up. It tells us what happened, but we do not feel anything.
Now the strong version
Strong: "My brother slipped the last slice of cake onto his plate while Mum was at the fridge. The plastic spatula tapped softly against the porcelain. He glanced over his shoulder once, then started eating before I could open my mouth."
The three parts in this version
| Part | Words from the example |
|---|---|
| Action | "slipped", "tapped", "glanced" and "started eating". These are 4 specific verbs. |
| Detail | "The plastic spatula tapped softly against the porcelain." This is one sound you can hear. |
| Stake | "While Mum was at the fridge" and "glanced over his shoulder". He could be caught at any moment. |
The writer never says "this was sneaky" or "this was wrong". The details show it.
Practice 1
Turn this flat sentence into a problem moment.
"My friend wrote on the table during lessons."
Use all three parts. Add a specific action, one detail you can sense, and a hint of what could go wrong.
✍️ Your turn
Rewrite the sentence as a problem moment. Aim for 1 or 2 sentences.
Model answer for practice 1
One strong way to write it:
"My friend dragged his pen across the table while Cikgu Lim was writing on the board. The blue ink dug into the wood. The boy in front of us glanced back, then quickly turned away."
| Part | Words from the answer |
|---|---|
| Action | "dragged", "dug", "glanced" and "turned". These are 4 specific verbs. |
| Detail | "Blue ink" is something you see. "Dug into the wood" is something you see and feel. |
| Stake | "Cikgu Lim was writing on the board" and "the boy in front of us glanced back". That is 2 risks in one moment. |
Your version can look different. Check that all three parts are there.
Practice 2
This one is harder. There is no starting sentence, so you build the problem moment yourself.
Scenario: You are queueing at the canteen. The aunty behind the counter is busy serving the people ahead. You see your classmate slip an extra bun into his pocket without paying.
Write the problem moment. This is the moment the reader realises something is wrong.
✍️ Your turn
Write the problem moment in 1 or 2 sentences.
Model answer for practice 2
One strong way to write it:
"Wei Han slipped the warm curry bun off the counter and tucked it into his pocket, the paper bag crinkling once against his shirt. The aunty was still scooping rice for the boy ahead of him. Behind us, two prefects were heading toward the queue."
| Part | Words from the answer |
|---|---|
| Action | "slipped", "tucked", "crinkling", "scooping" and "heading". These are 5 small, physical verbs. |
| Detail | "The warm curry bun" is something you see and smell. "The paper bag crinkling once against his shirt" is a sound. |
| Stake | "The aunty was still scooping rice" means she could see him any second. "Two prefects were heading toward the queue" means someone in charge is coming. |
The strongest part of this answer is its 2 stakes. The aunty might turn around. The prefects might see. Either could happen.
Put it in your own words
✍️ Your turn
In 1 sentence, what does a problem moment need to show the reader?
What's next
You now know the three parts of a problem moment.
Action · Detail · Stake
In the next two lessons, you will practise this skill. First you will sort the parts. Then you will add missing parts yourself. After that, you will learn how to end a story well.
Move on when you are ready.