PSLE model composition: Trying something new
This page shows a model PSLE composition about trying something new. Plan and write your own parts first. Then open the model and read the notes on where it earns marks.
Topic: Trying something new
Typical pictures: a swimming pool, a stage, a bicycle
The plan in one line
A boy who is scared of water tries to swim across the deep end at a lesson. He panics, then pushes on and makes it. He finds out he is braver than he thought.
Show the fear before the success. If the reader does not feel the character's nerves first, the ending will feel empty.
Your turn: show the fear
Before your character tries anything, show how scared they are. Spend the opening on nerves, not action.
✍️ Your turn
Write the opening of 'Trying something new'. Show what your character is afraid of, and why, before they try it. Show the fear through the body. Aim for 4 to 6 sentences.
Your turn: when it nearly goes wrong
Weak stories make the new thing go smoothly. Write the messy middle, where your character panics and almost fails.
✍️ Your turn
Write the paragraph where your character tries the new thing and it nearly goes wrong. Show the panic or struggle before they push through.
Your turn: the success and the lesson
Show your character succeed. Then show what they found out about themselves.
✍️ Your turn
Write your closing paragraph. Show the moment your character succeeds and how their body feels afterwards. End with what trying something new taught them about their own courage.
The model composition
Reveal the model composition
I stood at the edge of the pool, my toes curling over the cold tiles, staring at the water as though it were a hungry monster. For as long as I could remember, I had been afraid of the deep end. While my classmates splashed and laughed, I clung to the shallow railing, my heart hammering at the very thought of letting go.
"Today, you're going to swim across the deep end," Coach Rajah announced with an encouraging grin. My stomach dropped. The water suddenly looked darker, deeper, and far more frightening than before. I wanted to say no, to make an excuse, to run to the changing room, but my classmates were watching, and something inside me was tired of always being the one who stayed behind.
Taking a shaky breath, I lowered myself in. The water rose to my chin, cold and unfamiliar, and for one terrible moment my mind screamed at me to grab the wall. My arms flailed and I swallowed a mouthful of water, spluttering. "Kick! I've got you!" Coach called, walking alongside the pool's edge. Fixing my eyes on the far wall, I forced my legs to kick and my arms to pull, one desperate stroke after another.
Then, quite suddenly, my fingertips brushed the opposite wall. I had made it. Gasping and grinning at the same time, I hauled myself up as my classmates cheered. My legs were like jelly and my chest was heaving, but I had never felt so proud. In that dripping, breathless moment, I realised that the scariest things often become the most rewarding, and that I was far braver than I had ever given myself credit for.
Where the marks are
Content (18 marks)
| What scores | Where it is in the model |
|---|---|
| The fear comes first | Two paragraphs build the fear ("hungry monster", "heart hammering") before he tries. This makes the success feel earned. Examiners reward a story where something is at risk. |
| The struggle is not skipped | He panics, swallows water and nearly grabs the wall. A story where everything goes smoothly is flat. This messy middle is where the Content marks are. |
| An ending that fits the topic | The last lines say what he learnt: "the scariest things often become the most rewarding". |
Language and organisation (18 marks)
| What scores | Where it is in the model |
|---|---|
| A strong first image | "As though it were a hungry monster" sets the mood in the first line. |
| Feelings shown through the body | "Toes curling", "stomach dropped" and "legs were like jelly" show fear and relief. |
| A short sentence at the high point | "I had made it." stands alone after longer action sentences. |
| Lively verbs that suit a P6 pupil | "Flailed", "spluttering", "hauled" and "heaving" keep the action moving and still sound natural. |
Practise: check your own draft
- Plan a different first time, such as going on stage, riding a bike or cooking for the family.
- Spend your first 2 paragraphs on the fear, not the event. Weak stories often rush this part.
- Check your draft. Does something nearly go wrong in the middle?
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